Blog Tour Review: Conquering Shame and Codependency by Darlene Lancer

Shame and CodependencyA nationally recognized author and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with codependent relationships. Learn how to heal from their destructive hold by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you, and lead to healthier relationships.

Shame: the torment you feel when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships—where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another—often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be.
In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.


TLC Book ToursThis review is part of Darlene Lancer’s book tour with TLC Book Tours. Find out more about the tour and all the stops here.

You can find more tour information and upcoming events by clicking through to TLC Book Tours.



I’m not a self-help book reader. It’s not a matter of me having issues with them. Considering the amount of books I’ve read, only a small percent of those are non-fiction. I have plenty of non-fiction on my shelves at home too, but only a handful are self-help. I do believe self-help books can give you a new, or broader, perspective on issues. They give you more information to understand how you, and those around you, work. The information doesn’t necessarily have to be scientifically proven. Even with a theory, you can learn and have your beliefs about yourself challenged. Challenges, both internal and external, are what help us to evolve as individuals.

This is my main reason for reading Conquering Shame and Codependency. Of course it helps that shame is a part of all our lives and I’ve known many a person with addictions. What’s interesting is just how much shame is interwoven into a person’s lives and actions, particularly a co-dependent, within this book.

It’s true that shame isn’t really spoken about, definitely not freely, but I don’t think many an emotion is. Going by experience, guilt can be kept quiet. Maybe it’s just me and who I’ve been around, but I don’t get the impression Western Society is big on sharing emotions that could be considered a weakness. It doesn’t surprise me the issue of shame not being addressed is brought up in Conquering Shame. It is an issue.

I found this to be an eye-opener and a good food for thought read. The way it’s written gives the reader a chance to absorb and work their way through each chapter without getting bogged down. Each chapter segues smoothly into the next and their’s plenty of lessons within to put everything into practice.

Personally, I didn’t take part in the lessons as I don’t feel they suit me. I have taken information away with me though and feel Conquering Shame and Codependency would be a good read for those who are interested in dealing with shame.

4 thoughts on “Blog Tour Review: Conquering Shame and Codependency by Darlene Lancer

  1. Darlene, great book…I had no idea how much shame I carried since my childhood, then that with being a Codependent most of my entire life, now at age 47 I am realizing I need to take care of me. I even hired a counselor online to help. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. Then as a teenager felt out of place and alone, then into adulthood, went through the drinking to impress others stage, and the I am married and glued to my husband stage, to I quit drinking, divorced my husband, went to AA, got help and turned my entire life around, became a Christian in 1990 and now I am well on my way thanks for your tips in your book. The shame was something I had no clue about…thanks for writing to the world, they need to see and read your story in order to recover from shame and CODA completely. I would have paid more for your book. Jackie Paulson a huge fan and posted my review on AMAZON under my real name too 🙂


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